What thoughts prevent you from thriving?
I am not good enough. I am not up for the task. I am not ready.
These are common statements I hear from my coaching clients. I know these concerns are usually neither passing thoughts nor other people's opinions. It’s worse: It's how my clients perceive themselves.
These powerful thoughts don’t appear out of thin air. They often stem from something deeper, rooted in what we call limiting beliefs.
What exactly are limiting beliefs?
Our immediate environment, cultural norms, and societal expectations play crucial roles in shaping our perceptions and behaviors. Together with our personal experiences and biological factors, they lead to ingrained values and beliefs.
Some beliefs serve us well, keeping us safe or helping us grow. Others, however, become restrictive and hinder our development and fulfillment. Some may be helpful for a while but eventually outgrow their usefulness as we move into new environments or gain more experience.
Limiting beliefs are mental barriers that hold us back from reaching our full potential. They restrict us in one way or another.
To give you an example, let me share how this has shown up in my own life: Growing up in a family and community that cherished independence, I was taught to get things done on my own. It made me resilient, resourceful, and adaptable. I wore that independence like a badge of honor.
You may wonder, how is this limiting?
My belief in being independent was so strong that whenever others had additional inputs, I felt attacked. I internalized people’s suggestions as criticism. Instead of seeing them as helpful, I’d think: "I should have thought of that. I’m not good enough."
Asking for help felt like the ultimate defeat. It meant admitting I had failed.
What started as a strength eventually became a limiting belief. Independence no longer fueled my growth but hindered it.
How do limiting beliefs show up?
Limiting beliefs can hijack our mindset, sometimes in subtle ways that accumulate over time. This can manifest as arrogance or ignorance, or you may find yourself holding back or withdrawing out of fear of rejection, exclusion, or embarrassment. We strive to keep up a certain appearance and vulnerability becomes our worst enemy.
You often recognize limiting beliefs through negative self-talk or a constant feeling of inadequacy. They can contribute to stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, which may affect our mental health in the long run. They can drain your energy. Limiting beliefs might lead us to reject opportunities or isolate ourselves from others. You may find it hard to trust yourself or others, making it difficult to build and maintain meaningful relationships.
That’s why it’s crucial to call them out before they take over.
Do you have limiting beliefs?
Probably everyone has internal barriers, whether they recognize them as limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, or perfectionism. Even people we admire, role models, inspiring pioneers, outstanding leaders, or everyday heroes face these challenges. They often sound like:
❌ I don't belong here.
❌ I don't have enough time.
❌ I don't have the right skills.
❌ I'm too old / too young for this.
❌ I don't deserve this.
❌ I'm not good enough.
How we handle these beliefs makes all the difference. Do you let them stop you, or do you push forward anyway?
Here’s the good news: You have the power to change your beliefs. While some may require deeper work, many limiting beliefs can be addressed through self-reflection and a shift in mindset. Partnering with a coach can accelerate this process, but therapy may be necessary for more ingrained beliefs that interfere with your well-being.
How to get rid of limiting beliefs?
1️⃣ Call out your self-doubts
When self-doubt appears in the form of "they think", ask yourself: Who are "they"? Often, the critical voice in your head reflects your own fears and insecurities. If the feedback is really from others, reflect on whether it’s constructive. You get to decide whether to accept it or not.
2️⃣ Look for evidence
Once you realize that it's not about their judgment but your own, look for validation: Can you identify the specific belief holding you back? Where does it come from? How does it serve you, and how does it hinder you? What evidence supports the belief, and what contradicts it? Write it down, revisit, and update your list when emotions resurface. The more you understand your limiting belief, the better equipped you'll be to challenge it.
3️⃣ Get out of your head
Sharing your limiting belief with someone you trust can be one of the most impactful steps. Though it's tough as it makes you vulnerable. Talking about it can break the belief's power. You'll probably realize that you measure yourself on impossible standards. Plus, another person's questions and perspective can open your eyes to new angles, helping you gain a better understanding of yourself.
4️⃣ Connect with others
There are resources online to help you feel less alone. Listen to podcasts, watch videos, or join support groups where people share their experiences with similar beliefs. You'll get tips and insights which work for others. Once you realize you are not alone, you'll be more comfortable addressing it. (Make sure you connect with credible sources).
5️⃣ Replace your limiting belief
Come up with a positive and helpful statement to replace your limiting belief. For example, if you believe “I have to do it all on my own,” replace it with “Asking for help allows me to grow". Write it down, say it aloud, and repeat it daily. At first, it may feel awkward. Until it feels true.
6️⃣ Reinforce your new belief
Once you've replaced your limiting belief with an empowering thought, make a habit of reinforcing it. Put it into action. If your chosen statement is "Asking for help allows me to grow" ask for help. Pay attention to how it affects you and your emotions. Celebrate small and big milestones. The more you practice the more natural it will feel.
What we tell ourselves is important. While we can't always control our thoughts, we can work to challenge negative patterns and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs.
Final thoughts
Don't get me wrong, this is not an easy process nor does it happen overnight. Rewiring our brain takes time, efforts, and patience. Setbacks are normal and facing them is a sign of progress.
Our beliefs are deeply ingrained but they don't define us. If you decide to change, you can. Focus on what you can control, and seek support when needed.
Are you ready to take your happiness and success into your own hands?
I'd love to hear about your experiences with limiting beliefs. How do you navigate them? Please share below or send me a DM.
If you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be honored to be part of your journey to a happier, more fulfilled life ❤
