How do you cope with (career) failure?

You may have seen, I have launched my first online training course "How you nail your job interview". To produce the material was a wonderful learning experience, and I am proud to be the owner of a digital product. It is too early to tell if I failed but I am definitely disappointed about the initial sales numbers. So many followers, so many possibilities, and so little feedback.

...and once more, my mind compares with others and my inner voice questions my value add.

Have you ever struggled with feelings of inadequacy, despite your accomplishments?

Let's talk about the power of sharing disappointments... Old news: There is still too much of (false!) perfection on social media which is harmful to our mind and our heart.

Like many, I find it challenging to talk about my setbacks. Or to show up when I am not feeling a 💯. For this, one needs a lot of courage and I admire people who let their guards down to show their true self in a world of fake perfection.

Usually, failures are revealed later. Once they can be seen as learning, success, or funneled into something greater. To which I can relate very much. I definitely need to process first, and once I can make sense of it, I may share my experience with others. Usually, however, I don’t. Let alone post it on Social Media.

I try to get better at talking about my obstacles because I’m convinced it helps tremendously to open up to a person you trust. …and it’s my #1 advice to others if I see them struggle.

Some of the benefits when you discuss your setback with someone:

🌱 You stop spinning.

🌱 You realize it is not all bad (our thoughts are usually our worst enemy).

🌱 You reduce stress and lighten your burden.

🌱 You feel less alone.

🌱 You probably learn something new.

🌱 You are accelerating your processing (and healing).

🌱 You gain motivation to move ahead.

🌱 You may generate new ideas.

🌱 You may turn the challenge into an opportunity.

When choosing to talk about it, make sure you know what you need though. And tell it to your chosen person! Otherwise, you'll end up even more frustrated (been there, done that):

🌞 Do you want empathy, a validation of your feelings?

🌞Do you want feedback, an opinion?

🌞 Do you want inputs, advice?

🌞 Do you want support?

🌞 Do you want a listening ear, comfort?

A while ago, I came across an inspiring article about how to handle a drawback by Lan Nguyen Chaplin. She writes about her experience of being denied a promotion and how to regroup and grow in virtue after experiencing a setback. I found her structured and actionable approach particularly valuable. Here's a brief outline:

• Feel your feelings
  💔 Reflect and understand why you are hurting.

• Scream, laugh and cry
  🤬😄😭 Call up a close friend to yell and cry. Watch comedy to laugh out loud. (👉 You can laugh with your friend, too!)

• Think about what comes next
  💭 Define your own limits and what you stand for.

• Redefine your metric of success
  🎯 How does your personal success align with the measures in your industry?

• Change the behaviors that are not serving you
  💪 Say yes to tasks that fit your new metric and say no to the ones that don’t.

• Lean on people who believe in you
  🥰 Spend time nurturing the relationships with the ones who lift you up.

Her last point: GOLD! For your own sake and to honor your people who mean good and feel good!

So, I am not asking you to post your latest struggles on Social Media (though I am here for virtual support if you do!). Instead, consider discussing your failure, disappointment, or shame with a trusted person. I promise you will feel better thereafter.

Will you try?

Should you need support during a challenging chapter of your career, I am here for you. I am an excellent listener and breaking down a journey into doable steps is one of my strengths. Together, we will focus on moving forward and do that with lots of positive energy, drive, and laughter.

Yours, Yvonne